To be or not to be...

...What a question!

Our entire household was hard at work Friday cleaning the house for company, when I heard my oldest son quote the opening of Hamlet's soliloquy. And, literary nut that I am, I almost opened my mouth and recited the rest of it. But I stopped myself. It was a close one, though.

I'm pretty sure he got "To be or not to be" off of some cartoon or show, and has no idea that it's part of Shakespeare's tragedy--even though I have the complete works of dear William downstairs in the office and a copy of the movie on a shelf under the VCR. I'm not quite ready to pull Hamlet out for a family movie night, being fairly certain the kids' minds would have glazed over by Act II.

There's a place in the US where you can buy a modest, 3 bedroom house for around $20K. It's even near family. And more than once I've considered chucking it all and moving back there to pick up a quiet life, because I'm fairly certain our family could exist reasonably well on my husband's income alone so I could write. But then reality sets in. I know in my soul UT is where I'm supposed to be right now, and even though I have to have a job to help support the family--a job that takes me away from said family and significantly reduces time I have to write--this is a situation I'm going to have to slog through in order to fulfill my part in The Plan. The curve in the tunnel is just ahead, I can see the faintest shimmer of light beyond; I just have to get there.

My 5 yr old wanted me to play outside with her yesterday. She asked, but before I could answer said, "Oh, you won't want to go outside. You're on your computer." Bam! I want to go play with her, but if I don't steal those moments here and there to pound out the next great novel, when do I do it? In all fairness, though, it IS a laptop, and if it hadn't been for the pounding headache I may have thought that far ahead.

I have a deep desire to ask published LDS authors if they face specific types of opposition when trying to get that book written, edited, published, printed and/or distributed. I've been facing some very steady opposition and downright craftiness in an effort to stop my work from being in print. It's scary, and at the same time a little stupid because I hate saying I'm being picked on. It sounds like whining and I don't want to come across as whiney.

I've rambled more than made a point, so before I rush off to warm bottles and feed babies I'll make that quick point. I'M GOING TO BE A PUBLISHED AUTHOR. I WILL USE THE TOOLS AND METHODS AT MY DISPOSAL TO OVERCOME THE OPPOSITION FACING ME AND PUBLISH NOT JUST ONE BOOK, BUT AS MANY BOOKS AS NECESSARY TO FULFILL MY ROLE IN THIS LIFE. AND WHETHER MY WORK REACHES ONE OR THOUSANDS, I WILL KNOW I'VE DONE WELL.

so there...